Rewire Your Brain to Build the Business and Life You Desire

Hilary DeCesare: 00:00:00

Hello, everyone, and this is one of those days that you are going to wish that this just kept going. Don't end. Don't stop the magic. And don't especially stop the wisdom from coming through. And what if you thought you were on this projectory of like success, like things are going really well. And then all of a sudden, what you thought to be true, was not? Well today, I have Angie, wisdom, are you getting a little thing I said there. I've got Angie wisdom here. And she is a master certified coach, the author of the non negotiable you. And she's the creator of the morning mindset journal really talking about how to actually leverage those as well. And it's called start with you. She's a speaker and co owner of a global alternative investment firm. So we're talking about those people that seem to be able to juggle it all. Don't you always want to know like, how do they do it? What is their routine? Well, everyone, this is your day. This is the lucky day for Angie Wisdom to bring that wisdom to you.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:01:27

You're listening to the ReLaunch podcast and I'm your host Hillary DeCesare, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method, helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way, so that you too, can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:02:17

Angie, thank you so much for being here. This is going to be such a fun, lively, very wisdom focused episode.

Angie Wisdom: 00:02:27

Thank you for having me, Hillary, I'm super excited. And we've put a lot of emphasis on that wisdom I better delivered today.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:02:34

What a great name. I mean, I would like I'd like to be Hillary love. I'm changing my name. I love it. So good. Okay, so I do want, I found that your profile and your bio is just so fascinating, especially to me, because I think that there's a lot of similarities here of what we've been through. And I'd love for you to share what, what has gone through your world that allowed you to successfully relaunch after you're sharing this journey, like how did you be? How were you able to actually take that next step after the relaunch? So first, share the relaunch and then let us know what came next.

Angie Wisdom: 00:03:24

Yeah, you know, the relaunch, it's hard to even choose what relaunch to kind of to work from.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:03:31

And as we get older is not the case. Last year, last year

Angie Wisdom: 00:03:35

had this relaunch this one, what's the most you know, what's the best one and, and I think the relaunch I want to bring to you today is another pivot in my career. I started out in the financial industry back in 1997, at Morgan Stanley Dean Witter, and I was a financial advisor, and I liked helping people, I thought I was going to be a nurse before that, and then found that it would help them with money. And, you know, one day or money now

Hilary DeCesare: 00:03:59

there's a there's an interesting transition there. We'll touch on that later.

Angie Wisdom: 00:04:05

Yeah, so you know, but I was still in that space of like, well, at least I'm helping people, but it's in a different in a different way. And I was really good at it. But it wasn't super passionate for me. I found myself one day literally, like, crossing days off of my calendar, like I was serving some kind of prison sentence. And it just finally dawned on me, I was like, what, why am I so excited to like cross a day off the calendar? Like, thank goodness, I made it through it, and I survived it. And it just kind of I had this aha moment where I was like, What am I doing, you know, I shouldn't just be waiting for the next great thing to happen. Like something obviously was off for me. And that really had me pivoting from being that financial advisor and, you know, serving clients to help them invest money to really what I found that I was super passionate about, which was helping people develop their business and professional themselves. So I really started heading into management and working with other financial advisors and brokers on helping them build their business and those relationships. And I found a real passion for that. I was still kind of performing at this place, though, where I know you can relate to this where it was all just grit, perseverance, determination, and it was like grinding away to get that success. And there was still this little lack of, you know, joy and fulfillment. And so the big relaunch was when I stepped aside from the investment company that I co owned, still part of it, but really decided to take my coaching full time, and do what was so on my heart to impact and change people's life on a daily basis.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:05:46

So it's so interesting that many of us have that something's off moment. Or like, Hmm, is this really what I should be doing? Am I really fired up about this? Am I really passionate about this? Or am I just collecting the paycheck? And you really had an opportunity? Because you were doing really well? How did how did you really go about dealing with that, that something's off? But yeah, I'm making some good money.

Angie Wisdom: 00:06:17

Yeah, you know, I think the first thing that I really had to reconcile was the fact that you have to put aside this guilt of not being grateful for what you have, because I had a great husband, you know, marriage, we'd already we're financially on our way, like building a good kind of portfolio for ourselves. And I was young. So it was like, all these things that kept telling me, you know, you should be grateful, there's nothing to be unhappy about. And so you have to kind of let go of that guilt and realize that you could be grateful and still be missing something. And that was like that first shift for me, okay, I can be grateful for what I have. But it's okay, that I'm still feeling like something is often I'm missing something. And that's really what gave me the space and the grace to start exploring. And, you know, I started doing personal development, and I lead with my values was really the first thing I had to go back to the drawing board and go, What truly fills my cup. What puts a smile on my face, what warms my heart gives me butterflies in my belly. Like I had to get back to those pieces in order to find what was really going to bring me joy.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:07:28

Well, what you said, the, you know, what you're having, you're grateful for what you have, because let me tell you, I feel, I feel another connection to you. Because same situation where I'm like, I from the outside, it looks really really, really good. Yeah. And from the inside I Mike, there's just something missing. But I was almost, I was almost embarrassed by my thoughts. I was like, What are you doing Hillary? Like, you're, you're gonna ruin a really good thing. Mm hmm. And I, you know, I didn't, at that point, I didn't know enough to look at okay, but here's what I'm really grateful for. I could see it from the surface. I could say, Okay, well, you know, it is. And I would go back and it was like, you know, the the angel and the devil, you know, working in your mind, you're like, yeah, stay where you are, stick it out, you're making good money, you got the house, you've got the kids, you've got the husband, you'll do all these. But it was it felt like, I felt like I was seeing a movie on a screen. And that was the life I was living. But something inside of me was like, Whoa, so not like, it is not what's firing me up. It is not dating. So you ended up having a situation happen with an investment firm that had invested. And I know that this kind of contributed to everything. Can you share that story and how that all ties into this whole idea of, of really finding what's missing and moving forward to go.

Angie Wisdom: 00:09:12

We I worked for firms for a few years. And then back in 2003, my husband and I decided to open up our own investment firm global investment firm. So it was a big deal. It was a big jump that was part of finding my joy was doing something big or not working for somebody else. So that was a big step for us. We ran a very successful firm. And do you know to give you a little bit of color and clarity on how that works is when you have an investment firm, all the trades and the processing of trades have to go through what's called a clearing firm. So the clearing firm that we worked through, all of a sudden on October 31 2011. All funds were frozen. The CEO back then John Corazon basically moved money fraudulently from one account to another and it caused the All firm to go into a state of frozen funds, and they were going to file bankruptcy right away. So the years that we had taken to build this, just the two of us from the ground up, managing, you know, millions and millions of dollars for clients and having very successful business was just poof, I mean, instantly in that moment, frozen. So we went into a place of no revenue, no client trading, no access to client funds, all of our clients, you know, are calling us. And it

Hilary DeCesare: 00:10:31

sounds a lot like Silicon Valley Bank right now. Right? Yes. It brought up a little PTSD where you're like, literally actuation Yeah,

Angie Wisdom: 00:10:42

I go back to that morning, you know, when it was like, what, what you don't want, and we're watching CNBC, and it's on CNBC. And we're calling and trying to kind of get these details. And it was just, I get goosebumps still talking about it, because it was like, somebody just stopped your whole life. You know, and I know that sounds big, because of course, we had family and everything else. But like, it was major, major. Oh,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:11:06

that is, I mean, that is literally and I can feel for you on that one too, because we had a CIP, not exactly like that, but a situation where my board member was doing a Ponzi scheme. And at all, he went to federal prison, it was just like, I think about those times, I'm like, oh, like, it's just, you know, I had 63 investors in my company, like, Oh, my God, like, what's x, and you're frozen, right? You talk about, you know, the fear response. And, and, you know, you either you know, you, you have freeze, or you hide, or you flee. At that moment, I made it, my past would have been, I, you know, get the heck out of here, like, I just want to leave. But in that situation, you don't have a choice, you know, you didn't share a responsibility, like, you got this thing. And you're like, so what, what happened?

Angie Wisdom: 00:12:05

You know, I just went into this mode of, you know, letting go of any fear and concern, and just getting into, you know, what can I do in, you know, thankfully, I have the coaching and the personal development on my side to start doing that, but I had to zone in and go, you know, what am I controllables? Here, I could sit here and spin and pace, you know, on the floor, thinking about what if, what if, what if? And how could they do this, or I could make that list of going, what are my controllables, my controllables are talking to every single one of our clients, every single day, my controllables are reaching out to the attorneys and getting the information like, I had to just focus on what I could control. And that gave me a sense of kind of peace and calm, like, I'm doing something I'm taking action, I'm, I'm making effort. And that translated to our clients, where they were like, okay, someone's doing something and a lot of the other brokerages they didn't, you know, they just kind of threw up their arms, and we're like, I have no idea what to do. And I guess this is the end of it. But we literally, we stuck it out. And every single day, we were updating and finding information. And eventually, little by little as they worked through the bankruptcy proceedings, they would release a little client funds. We ended up establishing a new relationship somewhere else that next day, so that our clients did have a place if they wanted to start trading immediately. That was a controllable, right. Yes, that was controllable. So it's just so important in that time that you don't get wrapped up thinking and all the things that you can't control, because that will have you just stuck in the mud, causing anxiety and stress and overwhelm. And it was really those controllables that we took action on and that paved the way for us to find our way out.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:13:59

I know people are going through so many different things right now. And I really liked what you said about you know, you have to be able to look at it from the situation of what can I actually, right, well, can I What is and sometimes you have to give yourself the grace and the space to sit down, get out of the environment, take a walk and just be like, okay, you know, I'm in that that that s sandwich, you know, where am I going to be able to do this? Let yourself say all right. And I also am a big advocate and you said you know you'd been going through the coaching and maybe even had coaches because at that point, it's giving you that opportunity to say okay, if I were coaching me when you play that little mind game, we call it a relaunch flip where you're like, Okay, I don't have there's, there's an I often I'm sure you get this too. People are like, I have no choices. There is Yes, I have. And and then I always often say, you know, what is the absolute worst worst scenario that you could happen here? Let's go there. Okay, the worst. Well, this could happen, and that could happen that Odetta. People are like, Oh, that's so bad. And I say, Okay, so that's the worst. But does it impact, you know, really all these different things, and we start asking questions it how is this really going to impact you? And as they start, you know, well, and then I say, Well, what in one year, would you think about this situation? Right? Because we've now gone down the rabbit hole, it's horrible, horrible. We've now said, Okay, well, what you know, and where you're going with this, which I love is that you immediately took action, you went out, you found another within a day, you said, another funding source. And so you had that moment of like, okay, things are going to change. What did you then do as you're continuing? Because you said, Were you just starting the coaching? Or did you have a coach? How, how were you? Because you mentioned that I just want to understand, yeah,

Angie Wisdom: 00:16:21

I was still coaching it within our firm and other financial advisors externally. So I was in that role of both co owner and kind of executive so working with a legal department and compliance in the clearing firms, and then was also coaching brokers. So I had this other element of me working and coaching the brokers to go, it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. You know, what do you mean, here's what we're doing. And, and so that was interesting component as well, when you're actually going through what you're trying to coach somebody on as well. And

Hilary DeCesare: 00:16:58

the lessons to relearn there, right? Yes,

Angie Wisdom: 00:17:00

yes. I'm like, I'm telling you this for you and for me.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:17:05

Exactly. Like Angie, are you listening?

Angie Wisdom: 00:17:08

Are you listening? Here's what we need to hear right now.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:17:11

Exactly. And so from there, did you just how did you end up becoming the position that you're doing now? Because you've juggled so many different things? I think a lot of people out there trying to figure out, you know, is this my time something's off? I want to make a change? Do I do it all at once? Did you kind of work your way into it? What happened? How did you how did you manage to officially then move into what you're doing now?

Angie Wisdom: 00:17:39

Part of that experience, I think pushed me to go, I belong in that coaching role full time, like, I persevered through something with so many tools that people could use. And I was 100% confident that you could overcome anything. And I was like, This is what I need to be sharing with people every single day, I need to be doing this full time. So it was definitely one of the catalysts that pushed me in that area. And I just for me, I started slowly, because I had already had coaching people that I was coaching outside of my investment firm. So it just kind of started to expand little by little. And then eventually I was like, the company was dialed in our investment company. And I felt like I had this space to really step away from it and not be involved on a daily basis. And that's when I said, okay, here comes the end with some coaching and consulting and put it out there and it was instant traction. And I believe that it is because of the passion I have behind it. And when you work from a place of passion and purpose, you find your business, you find the people that want to work with you because of that. And that was what transition for me and I still have a hand in that business. Very, very on a very small level, you know, financially and compliance wise, but day to day, I'm in that coaching seat now all day every day.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:19:08

Okay, so as you are really finding that the right place. You decided to go go all in. Yeah, as you say you're an investor and you still do you know some things but your daily is around offering, you know, the coaching, and you decided to write a book and the non negotiable you. Why did you What is it all about? And why did you decide to write it?

Angie Wisdom: 00:19:38

The funny thing about that is why I decided to write it is twofold. One, because I used to say I was a horrible writer. And I thought the hardest thing to do would ever be to write a book. So I was like, therefore I will write a book. Challenge your mindset, you know, so

Hilary DeCesare: 00:19:52

that was a really challenging, it was challenging for me to write my book I have to say Yeah, well that is yeah. I did not think I was a writer. I did not, you know, and, but, and I kind of was like, this could be the biggest challenges I'm ever going to put myself through. And I, I feel like I just, you know, Mount Everest. That book was my Mount Everest.

Angie Wisdom: 00:20:16

Yes, exactly. And that's, you know, I'm that type of person who's like, Oh, you have a fear, go towards it. So that's what writing was for me. So I went towards it. But underneath of that, too, was this need, that I felt to be able to help people that couldn't sit here with me, in my office, one on one in a group of mine. You know, when I started my coaching, it was all one on one. And I quickly found that I didn't have the capacity to serve everybody. So I started doing groups, and then quickly found from there that even with the groups, there were still other people that maybe wouldn't ever have the opportunity to be in a group or one on one. So I wanted to put that information in a book so that they could all experience that as well. And the non negotiable, you is truly about this version of you that can get through all those relaunches, right, the version of you that lives life to their fullest potential, you know, that has a religious thing in my language girl. Yes, right. So I know, you know exactly what it takes to go through those relaunches and to live your best life. And, to me, I took 25 years of sitting across the table with people and I said, What constantly gets in the way for people, what is always tripping them up and holding them back from living their best life. And I took all of that I reverse engineered it into my journal, and then wrote a book about it, so that anybody could read this and go, Okay, here's the foundational pieces to being the best me who can live their best life.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:21:49

Okay, so that's kind of the for you the chicken or the egg. But the journal came first you created, you created the journal, the morning mindset journal, and start with you. And so what, what was it about a journal that you felt you had to get out there first,

Angie Wisdom: 00:22:09

I strongly believe and again, kind of taking my knowledge from working with people for so long, I saw all these things that got in the way, these obstacles and I said, Well, I know a few things. One, we need to proactively start our day, in order to have the day that we want in order to live the way that we want. I also know that there's these other components around confidence and gratitude, and mindset that if we actually proactively put them in our life, like taking supplements, they're going to rewire our brain and recreate us into a different person. So that was my passion behind it. And I would give this practice to my clients all the time, I literally had it on like a PDF. And I was like, you know, print this and do this in a journal or whatever. And so many people would be like, can you put this like in a real book for me, because I have like 200 pages of this lying around. So I put it in a journal and had it for my clients. And then they started gifting it to people. And then the people who were receiving it as a gift, were reaching out going, can you give me some detail on this and on this, so it was like, it wasn't quite just here you go with no other information. And that's what inspired me to go okay. Well, let me write the book that ties it all together. So now people really had the full package.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:23:22

Okay, this is so great. Because, as I said, my book came first. And now people are like, how do I do this on a daily basis? And so the journal and I said that to you, I love that you have a journal, I'm a huge journal fan. And what? And that's where I'm going with, you know, the journal is next the workbook, I mean, all these different things. But I want to know, what about your journal then, is truly unique? Give us some things that are in this journal that you're like, oh, yeah, this is this is what makes it so good. You know, the

Angie Wisdom: 00:24:01

beginning of it's an 100 day journal, and the beginning of it as you clarify your values and what you want from life goals, you know, over the next 100 days, so

Hilary DeCesare: 00:24:13

100 days, and not a year. Yeah, it's,

Angie Wisdom: 00:24:18

I like to break things up a year is a long time for people to stay like in the same game, and committed so 100 days, let's talk about this for days and things change. So really understanding like, what my values are, how they fill me up what I want to accomplish in this 100 Day formula. And then as you set every day and you write in your journal, you're writing intentions that align with your values. So you're living that fulfilled life. You're setting intentions that align with those goals that you outlined in the beginning. And one of my favorite components about the journal is there's a daily reflection, and this is almost like a self coaching tool because every day you ask yourself, did my values show up? You and literally like, pause and think about it and go, Yeah, feel great. All those guys got in there, you ask yourself, did you accomplish your intention? So you've got a little accountability partner there. And then two of my favorite questions, what got in the way. So if you didn't accomplish those intentions, what got in the way for you learn something so that you can adjust tomorrow, instead of continuing to bang your head against the wall six months later and wonder why you haven't written that book yet? And then, what did I learn? What did I learn? And, you know, you're just you're growing, you're learning, you're, you know, holding yourself accountable, you're creating this beautiful relationship with yourself. And eventually, that cuts out all that external noise and allows you to lead yourself

Hilary DeCesare: 00:25:45

that what did I learn, I think is very impactful for people because we go through life, and we think that things are happening, you know, to us, right? And this, this gives you the ability of reconnecting with that situation. Reef, restructuring it right and say, soon as you say, what did I learn from that? It opens up you to not feel like it has the shackles around you. You're like, wait a second, I really did benefit from that a lot has to do with like, even this podcast, you know, so I used to call it in season one, the Silver Line relaunch that there's always no matter what relaunch you're going through no matter how bad it is. There's always that all right, silver lining, and you know, what did you learn? What did you learn? What was your takeaway, and I just said this to one of my kids, I said, Hey, here's the thing, if you don't really lean into what you learned, and you don't let that you know, whether you call it your Higher Self, your, you know, the universal, your spiritual, it will hit you again, it's gonna come around, you know, when you're dating the same guys over and over and over again, darned if, you know, you don't realize like, hey, that type of guy is not right for you, you're gonna get another one, right? It just happened. So I love that, you know, that whole like, lesson? How do you get people to really evaluate? Because sometimes they're like, I don't know what the lesson was? How do you take them down that path?

Angie Wisdom: 00:27:16

For me, you know, I always like to tell people look, it can be the littlest thing, or it can be big, don't overthink it. And you will laugh when I tell you this. But sometimes what I learned is like, I'm like, I learned that a cupcake before lunch does not make me feel good. And I shouldn't do it again. Like, it can be something so little like that, I learned that I really would be better off, you know, ordering dinner out on Fridays, because I'm exhausted. Something like that. Or it could be I learned I'm really passionate about being face to face with people instead of you know, on zoom with clients. So you don't have to judge it. You know, don't look for this major or shattering like learning opportunity. Just assess yourself, be aware and go What did what what came to me, what did I learn because it's those little things that give you the opportunity to change to eat differently, to show up differently to converse differently. And it doesn't have to be big.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:28:15

Well, we have to take a quick break. But when we come back, I want to go into what are the non negotiables? Like, what do you have to make sure that you you gotta have at some point like, hey, that I'm not crossing the line there. I'm sticking to my guns and I'm doing this I am absolutely this is a non negotiable. So we're gonna go into that. And then you're not going to want to miss this because there's a huge part of what you teach people and it's the rewiring. rewire your brain and this is the part that I love. So don't go anywhere and we will be right back. This episode is brought to you by my very own labor of love my most recent book relaunch. This book is a collection of my stories, other stories and is a motivational guide to living a new three h q lifestyle, sparking your heart to ignite your life. It's available for purchase via Amazon, get ready to try on the three HQ method that I've been using for years throughout my entire life reaching the next level in all areas, both professionally and personally. Get your copy today at www dot the relaunch book.com Welcome back and I am with Angie wisdom and she has given us a tremendous amount of the wisdom of how you can actually have a life that you are really excited about and more importantly right now, a lot of times we go through our days, and we allow for things to show up that We're saying, hey, but wait, I don't want that to happen. So what did Angie do? She went and she wrote the non negotiable you. And we are talking about what are the non negotiables, that people should have to really make sure that they have that lifestyle of success. And make sure they're setting themselves up for something that they really are actually fired up and the life that they want to live? How do you do that?

Angie Wisdom: 00:30:32

There's, you know, the book really, is comprised of several non negotiable, so maybe we should pick out a couple of favorites. One of you know, the foundational pieces that I believe in, I work with clients right away on is their values you have, it's non negotiable, that you understand what fills you up, and how to put that into your life every single day and tied to that as the responsibility. Right? If you know that something brings you joy, it's your responsibility to put it in your life, and not slip into this space of like, well, I don't have the time while somebody else wanted something from me, where you know, I refer to that as kind of falling into that victim mode.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:31:11

Okay, everyone out there has to be like nodding their head right now, right? That we sit there. And, you know, first off, learn what lights you up, learn what fires you up, learn what you need to refuel, in order to bring that you know, engine of yours, that tank to a high level. And then I love that you said that it is your responsibility to make sure that you do that. Right. And it is so easy to get so caught up with I'm just so busy, I got to do this. Why do you think that people have to it is a necessity is it is their responsibility? What does it do for them, when they actually take on that and fill up their tanks,

Angie Wisdom: 00:32:01

it gives them more energy, it gives them more motivation. It gives them fulfillment. So it basically allows them to, you know, love their life, but also continue to grow and progress. If you are not putting in your life, what is important to you like your values, then you go through these feelings where you hear people go, Well, I just feel kind of lost, I feel stuck, I feel unmotivated, you know, I'm just not very clear. That's because you don't have a compass, of what you should be, you know, leaning towards your values are truly that compass. So they're so important because of the way they make you feel. But also because they guide all your decisions. We make decisions in one of two ways. We either use our values, yes, I like family time. So I'm going to spend time with my family, or we make them based upon our feelings. I don't feel like getting out of bed. I don't feel like working out today. So values, we use them for that as well. And a lot of that lack of motivation and energy and lack of confidence things that a lot of people suffer from come from making decisions on those feelings, because they're never in alignment with what's actually important to them. And huge piece there.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:33:15

It's a huge piece, and then you realize why they fall into victim mode?

Angie Wisdom: 00:33:20

Yes, 100%. So it is a very, it's literally, you know, one of the first chapters in the book, it's the first thing I do, even if I talk to somebody randomly, and they're like, where do I get started, what and I'm like, figure out your values, do this worksheet and know what your values are. And your one assignment every single day, is to get those to show up in your life. Just start with that.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:33:44

And then once you get them to show up in your life, then you start to put them into your business, right, you want to make sure salutely I think that I'm seeing more and more these days that we think we need to create a business for perspective and perception of what's really you know, what people are going to want. And then we miss that, hey, you're showing up in that business, right? Whether it's eight hours, 10 hours, 14 hours or more every single day, events out. If you're not bringing your own values into your business, you talk about misalignment, you talk about what you're saying, that is an absolute non negotiable for me that I have to be so in line, every piece of anything we put out there has something to do with our core values, which are Michael to

Angie Wisdom: 00:34:37

exactly and if you don't align those, then that's where people get resistance, where they're wondering like why am I not taking action? Why am I not doing what I should be doing in my business? There's a good chance you're building your business without your values.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:34:52

And I also think, and I know you go into this it's about you know, when you're not in alignment, it it takes a man makes you work harder. And that's when burnout really starts to surface. How do you tie burnout in with, with core values and everything about non negotiables?

Angie Wisdom: 00:35:15

Yeah, I believe that I like to tell people to look at it like a your cell phone battery, right. And if you get all your values in, and I'm talking like, you have like five or six core values, if those come in your batteries fully recharged, and you go about your day, you show up as the best you you're full of energy, motivation, focus, all of that. If you don't, that battery life drops, and drops and drops, and you go another day, and you didn't really, you know, show up as the way you want to, you didn't really get your family time, and you didn't really get your exercise time and kind of skipped out on that learning and development, whatever you value, that battery just continues to decrease. And that's all of a sudden when it's empty, and it's redlining. And it's hard to get out of that spot, because you don't have the energy. So it becomes this kind of like, you know, mind game with yourself where you're like, Well, I'm too tired, to go do these things that I love. And it's like, because you've been starving yourself from them, you have to kind of just go, I know, I'm tired, but I know these, you're going to refuel me. So let's go take some action and get those values. And

Hilary DeCesare: 00:36:22

so one of the things that I'm hearing more and more with COVID. And with what has happened to the world the last three years is that people, you know, say, I want family time I want family time family is, you know, one of my top priorities. And now as things are opening up, and we're moving back out, and we're doing more things, all of a sudden you look at their calendar, you look at what they're focused on, and they're so busy that there is no family time in there, or if there is, you know, their their cell phones at the table and they're distracted. So I just read that if you can even for 30 minutes, focus specifically on your present position with your family, like you're in front of them, and you're fully focused, it's worth more than three hours, 30 minutes is worth more than three hours of being all over the place if you're fully present. And then you look at your calendar. And as you're, you know, putting together your journals and everything. One of the things that they say is that when you go back and look at the last week, it will let you know your values. Yes, absolutely. It will let you know, it'll let you know what you're not doing. Which values you know, because all of a sudden, if you don't have any family time on you're there and you're sitting her family so important to me. It's a real indicator, right? So your calendar actually is you the sense of, and likely it will say hey, you were doing this, this was important you This is one of your values, you have it there, it's like your calendar is going to give you everything you need to know if you're just starting out right now you're either doing a great job, or you need to work on some of these things. So as you as you're going into this, you know, burnout, and you're feeling like what can you actually do to get out of that burnout scenario and like this kind of like a spiral, right? It keeps you keeps sucking you in.

Angie Wisdom: 00:38:30

It does. And that's that important, you know, mentality of just, I may not feel like it right now. But I have to ignore the feelings and I have to lean into the value. So think about one thing that brings you joy, even if right now you go, Gosh, what's the last thing that really put a smile on my face, it's probably value oriented for you. And go do it. Whether it's reading for five minutes, whether it's closing your eyes and relaxing, whether it's getting outside in the sunshine, it's even that smallest amount that starts to recharge your battery and put you on the right path. So really, it's flipping that switch from burnout, you have to go what would actually bring me joy may not feel like doing it, but I'm going to do it you can use the Mel Robbins 54321 Right, and you just do it i You're gonna start to feel that recharge. And that's going to be the confirmation that's like, Oh, this feels good. I need a little bit more of this.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:39:26

Do you believe that there has to be a certain amount of time, like does five minutes a joy equal four hours of a charging station? Is there anything?

Angie Wisdom: 00:39:37

You know, I don't I wouldn't say there's a certain amount of time because this there's a phenomenon with it in the sense that one, you're getting something that you like but from a mentality standpoint alone, you just being able to say this is what I like this is what I need and I'm giving it to myself. Just that effort right there starts to rewire your brain for you. So it does have to be an all or none thing. And I tell people all the time, what feels reasonable two minutes, five minutes talking about the the moms who have kids and they're like, I wish I could have alone time, I'm like, you can stay in the bathroom a little longer. Yeah, that's

Hilary DeCesare: 00:40:13

what I used to do. Mom is busy.

Angie Wisdom: 00:40:17

Maybe your alone time sit in the car before you come inside, you have to though again, go back to that responsibility and go, This is what I know fills me up, it's my responsibility to figure out how to get it in.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:40:30

That is a big one everyone, it's your responsibility, you have to and you need to determine, you know, for me, I need, I need my time in the morning like that. That's a non negotiable. And I actually have it on my calendar, I need about two hours. And it, it allows me so if I have a call at eight, then I need to be you know, up by about 530. So it gives me a little time to get ready. But I have to have that I do not I get rushed in the morning. If I can't do my process of, of, you know, really having my own mindset, it sets my whole day off on a different tangent. Why? Because it's not aligned with my value system connects me It connects me back to what's really important for me, it gives me a chance to evaluate what I've got coming up. And I love that you said that there was an interesting, I use it often as an analogy and kind of to summarize what we're talking about. And it's the idea that we have mirror neurons in our head, and there's billions of cells in our head. And the mirror neurons when they are one, one monkey, let's just say is cracking a peanut, the other monkey actually gets the same in the brain, it lights up just like the monkey cracking the the nut, it's the same. So when you think about that, and this idea of an goes back to like when somebody yawns and then somebody else yawns or you're, it's a reaction, you're seeing it, and sometimes we don't even realize it. I think that when you start to realize that if you can use Joy a lot, and I love that joy out of the of the joy of life, when you can incorporate that in those moments, and then be able to acknowledge them smile, right? There's studies that say, go into the mirror and smile for 30 seconds is the craziest thing. But it's that mirror neurons, you're giving yourself what you ultimately need. And so you got to figure it out, what what is it going to be? Is it going to be five minutes? Is it going to be 30 minutes? Is it going to be four times a day? And then calendar it? And when you do that? How do you think that? You know, I know you talk a lot about rewire your brain? What What about the rewiring process do you think is the most helpful for people when they're really feeling like they're spiraling?

Angie Wisdom: 00:43:04

Yeah, it's, it's choosing your thoughts, you know, I like to think of our mind as a filtering system. And most people believe that whatever thought comes into their mind must be because their mind thought it. And we really have to change the way and say that really what comes into my space comes from a lot of different places, past experiences, your environment, your circumstances at the time. And so they're not necessarily true. So I see you have a filter, when that thought comes in. It is your again, responsibility, one of the non negotiable things to go, does this thought serve me? Do I keep it? Or do I trash it? Hmm. And when you start to get in control of the thoughts that come into your head, you start to rewire your brain because you're basically saying that's just can't take up residency, and make me think whatever they want me to think I'm actually going to be conscious of this and go Well, I'm not going to believe that I'm going to get rid of that and I'm gonna choose something else. And this is the most powerful practice and process for people to really start getting control of their mind so that they aren't at the mercy of it you know, and get into that victim mentality

Hilary DeCesare: 00:44:17

so there there is a concept of your if you're above the line, you're a victim, if you're below the line, you're a victim and being able to be aware of when you're you're in that victim mode and then rising above it, right it's like having power being powerless victim and have being powerful as the victor. What are some ways that you think people can move from being in that victim place to feeling like, Alright, I got this, like, things are not holding me down that I can actually you know, it's not going to hold me back anymore. I can actually create what I want.

Angie Wisdom: 00:45:00

You know, recognizing what you want taking action and achieving that little process. And it could be something so simple like, today, I'm setting an intention to eat a healthy breakfast, you do that you recognize it, that right there starts to tell you like, okay, I can decide what I want, I can take action on it, and I can accomplish it. And that is empowerment. Now you're showing, you've heard the expression, success breeds success. That's what we're doing here. So even as simple as like, I'm putting my shoes on right now putting my shoes on, and I'm going to walk out the front door to get some sunshine, you recognizing that your intention, taking action on it accomplishing that starts to feed that system of okay, we do what we say we're going to do, we are empowered to take that action, and we see it through. And that's what we really have to keep doing. Because over time, and I know everyone can relate to this, is we fall back on our promises all the time, oh, I'm gonna do this and you don't do it. And it's those repeatable, you know, habits again, and again, where we don't follow through with what we say, that starts to make us believe that we're a victim, and that, you know, what we say is never going to happen anyways,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:46:20

what a great way to say that. I completely agree. And I loved your example. Because it's like that, you know, value of integrity. You say we, you, you say you're going to do something and you do it. And when you don't do it, and you fall down that you know, a hole all of a sudden, it's like, Okay, so you've just lost your own internal, you've said, you're going to do it. So now inside of you is already saying, well, we just don't We don't follow through with things. Right? And that creates more of the victim. Like, why did this happen to me? And so when, when, as we're as we're kind of wrapping this up, what do you think that people absolutely today, from a coaching perspective, must have like they really mean like they this is the key to your coaching success. This is what you do. So well, what would you say that is

Angie Wisdom: 00:47:14

the values foundational wise, in and I think we hit the second one filtering your thoughts, you control your mind, and you touched on the other one briefly. Learn how to be in the present moment. That is such a game changer for people. And I don't mean just the present moment so that you can experience the joy that's in it. But one of the number one things that people kind of set people back and hold people back is fear, and worry and anxiety. And none of that exists in the present moment that is all future oriented thoughts. So that is huge for people learn to be right here. And right now, back to that example, when my clearing firm, you know, failed. If I kept thinking about tomorrow or next month, I was never going to be here to take action in the present moment. So that is a huge piece for people learn to be in the present moment. So that you can rid yourself of the stress, the overwhelm of anxiety, that worry that lives in the future. And also the past brings all the guilt remorse, you know and regret. So we alleviate those from our life. Ash. You know, we've become pretty unstoppable and fearless.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:48:25

It is so true. And when you think about the future, and worry, right and I had a mom who was a worrywart. I mean, my God, she worried for everybody. And when I really started to learn what was behind worry, I realized, wow, she is worried about things that haven't even happened. Right? And they say that like 85% of what you worry about never happens and the other 15% Sorry, 85 to 90% It's never as bad as you really thought. I mean, the percentages go down, go down, go down. And then there's always that which we discussed earlier, there's always that point where all right, so you're in the middle of a relaunch and what was the lesson learned? Right sometimes that as you said the financial scandal and what happened in the closing down and rebuilding your business, it allowed you to then really decide hey, I'm gonna go do that and people need to hear that people needed to be able to go through because so many people are having these types of situations right now they need to be able to hear it from you that they can achieve it they can get through it and based on their values and based on how they're going to take responsibility. It's just such a it's all around what you had to struggle and go through. But you had such a great concept of just hey, one thing each day, just be you know, take that one thing find that one thing what can I do? What can I do right now? What you know what are These controllables that's so impactful. So Angie, what is next for you? What's coming up?

Angie Wisdom: 00:50:06

Yes, coming up? Well, I've got the book coming out the non negotiable you which is, should be out in the next month. So that is exciting the podcast launches, which is called sharing wisdom, also in the next month, so two pretty big pieces for me, and then I'll be starting on that second book, choose your seat, which, you know, is an exciting project is

Hilary DeCesare: 00:50:30

I'm impressed that you're already you're just about to get your book out there. And you're already talking about the next one.

Angie Wisdom: 00:50:37

I loved it. I loved that writing process. And, you know, like we talked about it was, it was like the Mount Everest, and I absolutely loved it and felt amazing when I put it all together. So I can't wait to do the next one as well.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:50:51

Well, I'm so excited for you, because you have the book, you have the podcast. I mean, it's really giving you a platform and so many different vehicles for you to share all of the wisdom that you have to offer people. So super excited for you. And last but not least a question that I really am interested in is when you think about finances and business for you know, women and men out there that are running their business, and they're just starting off, what is the best way that they can become competent in knowing what they must know as that entrepreneurs are scaling their business.

Angie Wisdom: 00:51:36

Clarity is always the first thing I direct people towards because most people don't lean into what they don't understand. So just start with your numbers get granular about understanding what you have, what you want, what operating costs are just understand everything inside and out. And then I would say look to other people in your industry and ask them what's the most important thing I need to know about my finances as an attorney, as a small business owner as a realtor, whatever it may be, because each industry is different. But it's that clarity people tend to take that ignorance is bliss approach.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:52:16

So true isn't i Oh good. Any oh god I promise and if people want to actually find you what's the best place they can go?

Angie Wisdom: 00:52:25

On Instagram Angie, wisdom life coach, I put a tremendous amount of content out there same handle on LinkedIn and YouTube as well. And the website is always great too which is Angie wisdom.com

Hilary DeCesare: 00:52:38

Angie wisdom.com. And Angie if you could have this you know the the all the books, everything successful and allow for people to have the wisdom what is the what is your one word this year that you are going for?

Angie Wisdom: 00:52:55

What is that? What's your word? impact impact and you

Hilary DeCesare: 00:52:59

are making it so as we wrap thank you so much for being here and having Oh god, it's been so great. And for those that want to find out more you can see in the show notes. We are going to continue this journey of relaunches and giving you inspiration and, as always live now love now relaunch now and we will see you next week. Take care.