Embracing Your Story, Unleashing Your Power

Hilary DeCesare: 00:00:00

Hey everyone, welcome to the relaunch podcast. And I have to say, when you're, you know, you're kind of thinking about who's coming on the show, and today has been a great day of guests. But there was one that I knew was gonna kind of like end my day for me and it just literally lit me up all day. And her name is Tory Archbold. She is the CEO, and founder of powerful steps, an online community and platform for women making a global impact. That's all of you. Through five programs, she empowers C suite level women to embrace their stories, unleash their power and elevate their careers. As the host of the powerful stories podcast Tory shares her tips for living a more powerful life. Previously, we're going to talk more about this. She founded Torstar, Australia's renowned brand and communications agency, where she led a team that delivered award winning work for top brands like Zara, Nespresso, Seafolly solchen, second, second, second. And whatever it is, that's bedtime and Victoria's Secret to name only a few notably Tory's launch event for Zara in Sydney. Imagine this drew over 22,000 attendees, making it the most successful retail launch event for Zara to date. She currently is in Sydney where she is loving life but most importantly, we are going to really hear from a woman that has had so many major relaunches, but guess what? She's just getting started.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:02:09

You're listening to the ReLaunch podcast and I'm your host, Hilary DeCesare, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way, so that you too can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary ReLaunch.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:02:59

Tory, welcome. So excited to have you on the show.

Tory Archbold: 00:03:03

Oh, I'm so excited to be here. And what a warm welcome. Thank you so much, Hillary.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:03:08

Well, you know, I always love when I do the research on people. And there are automatically and yeah, sure we get questions and everything. But I Mike Oh, there is so much beneath the surface. I am hoping to uncover something today that you have not actually shared anywhere before. Let's try it and I want people to say wow, this is new. This is fresh. This is Tory at her best. Okay. All right, do it. So we're going to start is this we are going to start with you've had many relaunches, and there are those most significant ones that truly changed the trajectory of your life. And I'd like to open it up with, you know, if you can share with us one of the most impactful so that our audience can really get to know the real story.

Tory Archbold: 00:04:09

No, thank you so much, Hillary, look, I think this is such a powerful question. And your business is such a powerful tool for women to rise. But I truly believe where the most impact has come from my life is through rejection. And I think rejection is projection. And when someone says no, I've always got this saying I can and I will. And when I came back from the Working Holiday Visa, which was basically the University of light for me, when I moved to London in my early 20s, I arrived back into Australia. And I realized and recognized the power of storytelling and I recognize that people were so far behind in the way that they were tapping into brands and storytelling to create and deliver impact that I came up with an idea that I would start my own agency with no experience no media connections and no money.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:05:00

Okay, again, how old are you right now when you're doing

Tory Archbold: 00:05:03

this Tyler love, I'm 24 I'm 24 years of age. And I thought what you know, you need to get feedback when you have an idea, especially when you have no money, you have no relationships in the in the area that you actually want to excel at, the best thing you can do is to go and connect with other people. And I'm a big believer in the power of connection and communication. So I started coffee dating with people and telling them my idea. And there was one distinct coffee meeting with an ex boyfriend of mine, who then went on to be the chairman of a global media agency. And I remember sitting down with him and saying, I want to create an agency that's going to build really powerful brands. I'm going to work with the world's top performing retailers, celebrities and influencers, and I'm going to make an impact. I said, I could just feel it in my bones. And he said, I don't think you should do that. You've got absolutely no experience no connections. I think you should go off and get married, have three kids join a few golf clubs. And that will be your life story. Like forget about it. And I remember just sitting there absolutely gobsmacked going, no one will believe in me. Now I believed in myself I always have I've always backed myself. I've always said self belief is my superpower. I wrote a book about it. I remember working out of that coffee day. And I leash I don't know whether we can swear on your podcast, Hillary Yes, you can I leave

Hilary DeCesare: 00:06:23

you. And I don't know what it is. But But I gotta tell you Godsmack could be my new favorite word. It's so good. And also I love this coffee. We're having a coffee date right now you realize because you, you came with two cups of coffee. And I've got my tea right here. So we're having a coffee, tea. It's a coffee tea talk.

Tory Archbold: 00:06:46

It's a coffee table, can I watch on your meeting, and I literally was like, (F) you, I am doing these. Everyone said no to me. And no one in Australia would give me a chance. And I knew and you know these through the power of business as well, you need one marquee client to make a difference. You need one standout client that's going to put you on the map that's gonna get people talking. But most importantly, with that client that you attract, it has to be anchored to your values, intent and purpose. So I said to myself, if I anchor every single move that I made to passion, because I was really passionate about creating and building brands, building my own business, and really making a difference out there integrity, because I didn't want to work with us halls. And delivering was a third value, because you're only as good as the last podcast chat, the last presentation, the last delivery of what you do, along with my intention, purpose was to create and build powerful brands around the world make an impact, deliver extraordinary sales for people, that one client was going to put me on the map. And so I went about

Hilary DeCesare: 00:07:48

hold on hold on you you move fast. And I can I can, no doubt. But I have to say, when you say you you said passion, integrity and delivery. And you know what, you and I are so aligned, I would even go in as much and say the geography, that joy of life. Right? The fun factor of bringing it all together. And there was one other thing you said, rejection is projection. So were you finding from the time you were having these coffee dates to things started to work out? I often find people are rushing through the building phase, right? We want it. Why is it taking so long, it didn't take that long for that person or that person. But a lot of times we don't know what's really behind.

Tory Archbold: 00:08:46

So what was holding me back is in Australia, we've got something called tall poppy syndrome. Now, this is something I've never spoken about, where in America, everyone opens doors, everyone's open to giving you an opportunity, right? As long as you deliver and then the relationship continues. So I had this idea to start an agency because I had no credibility in my market. Everyone was saying no. So what did I do? I made a call to someone in London. And mind you, I'm 24 years old at this point in time, who I've been coffee dating with over there. And I said, I know you've just started your business in Australia. I need a marquee client. This is my idea for my agency. How can you help me? That's how I landed my first client, which was the equivalent of Neiman Marcus in America was called David Jones was the number one luxury retailer over here. And ironically, many years later, I got to work with Neiman Marcus and launch them into Australia for their online business. So with that one client came relationships. So when we talk about relaunching ourselves, it's like what's your message? How are you connecting with people? How are you building forward momentum? So out of rejection, you've got to find a solution. You've got to switch your mindset. You've got to take your idea to the next level and not every door is going to open have you? So you know, when you say to me, you know, what was the biggest lesson? The biggest lesson is just because someone says no to you doesn't mean that it's not yes for you. If you believe you can do it, you will. And that's how I ended up building this agency and attracting the world's top performing brands. And I always ask them, How did you find me? Nine times out of 10, it was we heard, you're incredibly passionate. We heard you work with integrity. But most importantly, we know that you deliver. So those values that anchored me to my very first client, my very first idea had stayed with me ever since. And they've served me you're well, you're an

Hilary DeCesare: 00:10:41

expert in branding PR. And so a lot of people haven't really connected with their core values. They haven't quite put it all together. How do you get people to really figure out like, you just nailed them, you're like, hey, it's passion, integrity, and delivery. Right? And, equally, so as I said, it's that, you know, the joy, it's having the fun, it's, it's, it's the next step beyond, but a lot of people haven't quite nailed it. And they and they haven't quite put together their personal core values with their business core values. So what do you what, what? How do you get them to kind of align with all of that?

Tory Archbold: 00:11:27

It's a great question, because it's something that I teach female entrepreneurs now and I break it down. It's a five, it's a five story framework, right? So you got to do the work. And this is what I can recommend everyone to do. A lot of people journal, but I say open a Google Doc, because you can update it at any time, right? And it's going to serve not only your personal life, but your business life as well. And to understand your values, your purpose, how you're going to step into your higher self and how you're going to better lead and serve people, you first got to understand who you are, right? So the way I look at it is is the first part of your story is like who are you? Where did you grow up? What were your parents? Like? You know, what was your family life? Your school life? Like? Like, for instance, I was the talker at school. I was always been old to be.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:12:09

Is that Shocking? Shocking to anyone out there? Yeah, no? Assets? Absolutely. No. So

Tory Archbold: 00:12:17

I look at that. I write it down. I go, that's an asset. I'm a communicator, I'm a global communicate and right. So I look at that first part of my story, and I can write on the side of it in the comments. That's an asset. Second part of your story is when you left school, what did you want to what did you want to be? Who did you want to become? What was your first job? What did you step into? What were the key learnings? What doors open for you? What shot? How did you find your why? Yeah. Okay, so Tory,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:12:44

Tory, what was yours? What was yours when I

Tory Archbold: 00:12:47

want to be high. So it's really interesting, I've always trusted my intuition as to what I've stepped into with business, what I wanted to be with someone who could create and deliver impact for other people. But later on in life, I discovered that I needed to do that for myself, if I was going to take it up a notch and have more impact. So it was always about serving others, it was always about getting an idea and creating something that was different and extraordinary that people would talk about to you know, drive sales, growth, drive business growth, you know, help people get these 100 million dollar m&a deals. That's what I was really, really good at.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:13:27

Okay, but so Tory, the Tory of five to eight or nine years old, if I were to go back, transport us back there. And I said, Hey, what do you really wanted? Like, who do you want to be? Was there somebody like I know specifically, it was either going to be Wonder Woman, The Bionic Woman, or be Witched. I wanted all of that,

Tory Archbold: 00:13:50

as well. So right, when you go right back to it, I remember sitting in my uncle's law firm in his office and looking what he was doing making a difference for other people. And I probably thought this could be a really good professional, become a lawyer. Now, here's the interesting thing about the five point story as you go along with it, I ended up becoming my own lawyer in part four of my story, and winning full custody of my daughter and a restraining order. So when you do this five point framework, and I

Hilary DeCesare: 00:14:21

go back, go back to go back. And just because I've gotten you off, now we've got,

Tory Archbold: 00:14:25

we've got the first bit which is like early years, we've got the second bit which is what he said he wants your career. The third beat is like you're really in your career. And you know, you've got all these success stories of top of your game and everything's looking really good. Map it all out, because you'll see what your strengths and your challenges were there as well. Then the fourth point is always that game changing moment, right. So the fourth point of that five story framework is something's going to hit you from the universe where you have that massive wake up call. So for me it was as I say, like, you know the link, I'm loving the links at We're talking about here, it's I had to step into uncertainty in my power to get the keys of freedom. Because I was 12 years as a single mom fighting battles no one knew about. And I had a lawyer, but I'm paying all this money out and nothing's happening. I've got a big business. I've got 22 staff, couple of personal assistants, I've got the nanny, I've got everything happening, but I'm dead inside, get your shit together, Tory wake up. So I stepped into my power by you know, going into the Supreme Court in Australia, the family law court and watching what happens. And I realized in point four of my story that life was a game of Russian roulette. But it was the power of storytelling that I'd learned in, you know, part three of my story, really, when I was at the top of my career, creating and building that storytelling for other brands and people that I had to use that same skill set to elevate my life. Now, in part four of my stories, well, I had a near death experience. Yeah, my level giant moment where I'm working so hard and doing 80 hours a week, I'm a complete people pleaser. You know, I've got a successful business. Yeah, I'm surrounded by all the materialistic things, but like I say, I'm dead inside. And that was my wake up call. She really changed my life, which then comes into part five of your story. Where are you now? So for me, that pivotal moment was, okay, I need to step up into the next level of my life. What is that going to be? Now to be able to tell your story, which is the answer to your question, you need to be able to answer that yourself. So you go back to all those beautiful golden threads of your life. And you go, what led me up? What made me happy? What was the best advice? How am I going to step up and step forward. And so I decided at the top of my career, launching three of the biggest American brands into Australia, Steve Madden, the billion dollar Shoe Man, Victoria's Secret, which was before that Jeffrey Epson awful debacle that went on, and of course, Drew Barrymore's Flower Beauty. Here, I have these billion dollar brands and people. But I realized every time I was launching them, that something inside of me was dying. While I was excelling at what I was delivering, I needed more fulfillment. And so I remember when Drew Barrymore was out here, and we created this amazing event for her at icebergs in Bondi, which is this iconic spot, and she was getting up, and she was speaking about women owning their story, stepping into their purpose, making a difference, all of a sudden, the light bulb was just like, you're gonna step out of this business story. And you're going to create another one. And you're going to use the framework of everything that you have experienced, learnt, and you're going to pass on that knowledge and add value to others. And so I got everyone in my job. I mean, everyone in my business, a new job, I asked him, I made the calls, who do you want to work with? What brands do you love? And I started again, when I was 44. So in answer to your question, when you understand the power of who you are, you can really relaunch yourself. So I had to be able to get up there and explain who I was, what I stood for what I stood against, what I truly valued, what set my heart on fire, because I have this mantra that a happy heart is a magnet for miracles. If something doesn't make me happy. I don't do it. I don't energy. There it is. Yes. Yeah. So that's how you build a powerful business. That's how you build a powerful personal brand. That's how you become a great leader. It's leading with heart, not ego. But you will never be able to lead and make an impact if you don't know what's going on inside here. Because you'll always be afraid of judgment to break free the balance.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:18:43

So let me ask you Does Drew Barrymore know the impact she had on you that day when she said about empowerment? She notes you have not yet that I gotta tell you Tori. That's too good. That is too good to pass up. Like hey, giving her that that that was hearing her here, or you're doing all this for her and then she's up there just doing what she's supposed to do to you know, get her get her book and what was it flowers got all this stuff?

Tory Archbold: 00:19:19

Flower Beauty, which was what we were were presenting. Yeah, all Flower Beauty. And her whole thing when we were talking Was she really wanted to get these talk show. She really wanted to create and deliver her own impact. And it's really interesting. I shot my business started powerful steps. She got back to New York got the talk show deal. And now I believe she's one of the number one talk show houses in your market, which is really exciting. So from that pivotal moment and icebergs, and yet she doesn't know what happened to me after that. It's too good to know that I haven't tell her Yeah, I just was like if she finds out and she hears these thank you so much, because

Hilary DeCesare: 00:19:59

you We're gonna crack this thing wide open. It's too good because I also think impacting and helping people reach their levels, when sometimes you don't even know it, you're just doing what's coming natural to you. You're just, you're putting your own passion out there, and people are our messages resonate. And so I love your five point framework. I think it is so incredible. Now, you did say something, as you're going through that five point framework, I do want to go back to, again, some of the toughest times and you said, you know, when when the going gets really tough and the rejection is projection and you know, to be able to overcome situations when you're feeling as you said, you know, that dead inside like, you're just there was there was no passion, no life. Can you share with us that relaunch that really took you to where you left you started to do for it? You know, at age 44? You are ready to make that impact? What what was going through your head? And what challenges did you have?

Tory Archbold: 00:21:12

Well, the challenge was after a near death experience in 2013, and with a decade later, so just five years ago to know, yeah, 10 years ago, I want everyone to know that changes don't happen overnight. They just they don't they take time they take effort. And you really need to give yourself that time to be able to step up into a more powerful version of yourself. I call it septicemia after that operation, and

Hilary DeCesare: 00:21:40

why did you call it step septicemia. But

Tory Archbold: 00:21:43

it might be known as sepsis in your market? Ah, yes. So blood poisoning. Yep. When you have lead poisoning, it's it's not a nice experience. So I lost eight kilos in five days. And you know, I was in ICU, I was given a six month recovery and actual factor was three to four years. Now, because I had a big company with a big file with these marquee clients all around the world, I couldn't really tell anyone what was going on. So it was a success and survival story. And I had 12 rounds of antibiotics. And I remember sitting with a surgeon and the doctor. And he said to me, we just can't give you any more antibiotics. He said, I think the problem is this, you need to find happiness, you need to find happiness, because a happy heart is a magnet for miracles. That mantra, and I know I've said it a couple of times in this podcast, they changed my life. He said, Put yourself first, if something is not making you happy, you need to walk away from it. So the first thing that I did to start stripping out what no longer served me to create space for my transformation, right? Was look at the people that I was surrounding myself with look at the clients. And for people listening to this, who have teams that grow teams, sometimes you chase the dollar, right, you chase the dollar, and it may not be aligned with what's right for your business, because you've got overheads. And I'd had a business development director that had bought in a lot of business. And she was very successful at it, which is, you know, a big reason as to how we grew. But the clients that she bought in weren't necessarily aligned with who I was. They were the first people I called. And I said, I'm downsizing. We're not the agency for you, here are the reasons why. And I'm going to recommend you to this person. Now a lot of those people now I made such an impact with that call. They're helping me with powerful steps because they're like you stood in your truth. And the ones that were ego led that just wanted to be seen when the other brands right purely because they wanted the flow on effects. Were incredibly nasty, but I just said to myself, I've made the right decision. So I started stripping out the wrong people for me, including like friends and family. And what that did was it created space for me to think it create a space for me to evolve, it created space for me to really, truly deep dive into what I wanted it. Now when you fast forward and you say that.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:24:15

But before you go into that, yeah, as you're growing your business, you know, there is that moment in time where you're like, oh, I need clients, I need clients. And if you and I have found this way too many times with myself when I was creating so my companies and other clients, sometimes we think, well, it'll pay the bills, as you said earlier to pay the bills. So we'll do this one, but here's what always happens. It's a distraction. It gets you on the wrong path. And then all of a sudden you've got a business that was never the intention at the beginning. So I love that you said that and This happy heart, this happy heart that you're talking about. When you were deciding, like you said, you had this this person that you just, you know, had to go. How do you make those decisions? How do you make a decision that you know what? This isn't? Right? This isn't the direction this isn't the person this isn't what is it about them?

Tory Archbold: 00:25:24

It came down to energy. Do you want to be around toxic energy? Or do you want to be around really high vibrational energy. And I think through recovering from sepsis, I recognize that for me, it was all about the good energy. And it wasn't about the money. It wasn't about the abundance, it was about just feeling good, you know, just feeling good. And it brought me back to when I first started my business, you know, back in my early 20s, that feeling of just I'm so passionate again, yeah. So you go on this whole wrong, because you've got rid of the toxic people. But you know, that's a tough decision. I mean, here's another tough decision, we had someone in our business attraction program the other day, she was speaking about an experience about how she had 20 staff and got rid of all of them and sat in her office one day. And it reminded me to put in my five point story, a time when I remember watching Prince William Mary, Princess Kate, and I was sitting down with my family, and my dad was like, you've got so many toxic people in your business, right? He goes, I think, should just hire someone independent, to sit at reception and bring them in one by one and get rid of all the toxic people. And you're gonna sit back at the end of the day, and feel really good. Because what happens in the business is you have really good runs, where you have great energy, and it takes one person to sweep through for you not to want to come to work. And we've all been there, whether we're leading a team or a business. And I really sat in that. And I thought, am I brave enough to do that? And it was just before I turned 30. And I did it, I actually did it. And sitting in my office, I think at that point, I didn't even have 10 staff and maybe had eight or nine staff. But I had a good business. And I thought, oh my gosh, it's just feel so good. Now, do you know what making that decision opened up some of the biggest opportunities in my professional career because I entered my 30s. And here I was working with Zara like misguided next UK, we launched Marguerite into Australia, Shopbop Neiman Marcus Everlane, like you name it, if I had not made that decision, watching Prince William and, you know, for instance, I get married and have the balls to go in there and actually take someone else's advice, that next chapter wouldn't have opened. So you, you've got to lean into the difficult decisions. And as uncomfortable as they make you feel like it is never great, you know, asking someone to leave your business. It's never great, leaving a bad relationship or a bad friendship, it's just not a good thing. But what you've got to lean into is how you're going to feel afterwards. Because how you're going to feel afterwards is going to add to that incredible energy that you can bring to add greater value and impact to the people that you choose to serve. And I feel that that philosophy of leaning into hard decisions and not being afraid to stand in my power has definitely set me up for success and better opportunities. And it's something that I teach other people now. And it's interesting that when you pay for that knowledge, like that lady did in my program this past week, saying that she did that, I was like that's a story that I need to share more often. And when you talk about how do you build your brand? How do you tell your story, when you do it in the Google Doc. And these little ideas come into your head, or these experiences, what you do is you just go back in, and you fill it out. This happened in stage three or stage four of my life. And this is what opens the gateway to more opportunity. Now the reason why you do that five point story framework is that so when you're doing podcast interviews, when you're building your brand, when you're creating your content for LinkedIn or other social channels, you're not just speaking to people, you're actually showing people that you've been on the journey with them. Now when you can show people that you've been on a journey that they're going through, what you're doing is just like a product or a service, you're showing them the way you're leading them, you know, to the top of the mountain so that they can then pay for their knowledge as well. So it's really important to sit in that hot, beautiful mess of life. difficult situations. Yeah, we find ourselves in and this Buddhist monk once I write about it in my book as well. He sat me down when I was going through this transformational process and trying to find my happy heart and he He said to me, Tori, look, you know, you're at the halfway mark of your life now is in my mid 40s. And he says to me, You know what you can think of the challenge that you're facing like this. Do you want to marinate in shit for another 45 years? And just place yourself in that shit. So Buddhist monk in Thailand to this beautiful little office? And I was like, No, I don't. And he goes, Well, here's a second choice. You can do that for 45 minutes. So when I went back to Australia, I do remember struggling to find solutions to there were big challenges I was facing, and I sit in it for 45 minutes I go, boom, okay, there's your answer. Or he said, when you're elevated, when you are working at the highest peak performance to really serve and add value to others. He said, You will see a challenge. And within 45 seconds, you're like, I'm not even sniffing that shit. You're like,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:30:53

not 45 minutes anymore. We're talking seconds every one

Tory Archbold: 00:30:56

seconds, because there were three options. Yeah, there were three options, see the net for 45 years, which is ways to live 45 minutes, which I struggled with, at first, I couldn't find the solutions. I was in the way of myself, I needed to move out of my own way. But then 45 seconds, like, everything for me is like 45 seconds. And I know you know, Hank, as well. Hank tried this out over a weekend when I was in New York, and he came back to me and he goes, this is life changing Tory women attorneys into a campaign which we are going to be launching in the next four weeks. Because that advice that I got given, transformed my life. So I don't have any negativity around me. Now. I'm literally like, you know what this has happened? Right? What's the solution? Or who do I call to help me navigate that solution? Because it's always important to ask for help.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:31:47

Do you know what I love about that example, is that if it smells like shit, it is shit.

Tory Archbold: 00:31:53

Right? It is.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:31:57

Yeah. Why spend more than 45 seconds there? I really liked that. Unfortunately, we have zipped through our time. And I would love to let people know where they can find you and how they can work with you. Oh, thank

Tory Archbold: 00:32:12

you so much, Hillary. I'm like a bit of a chatter. So I really enjoyed. This is the fastest ever. We can connect on LinkedIn. I love meeting people in LinkedIn. I think it's the hub of the community. So it's Tori Archibald. Our website is powerful Josh steps.com. My podcast is powerful stories of which Hillary will be sharing the power of that story as well. And of course, if he wants to just deep dive into how you can back yourself with self belief, my latest book is self belief is your superpower.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:32:44

Tory so fun. I thank you for lighting my day app. This was amazing. And we will make sure to have everything in the show notes, the relaunch podcast, you can go there you can find out more links will be there. And again, check out her book because there is a lot more to come. And you're gonna have to listen to when I am on her show. Because I'm going to continue this Drew Barrymore opportunity for her again an opportunity to share and let her know that she impacted you so much. So thank you again and everyone look forward to the next time we are together live now love now, relaunch. Now take care.