Unstoppable Growth: Redefining Success in Business and Life

Amira Alvarez: 00:00:00

I couldn't be in my masculine all the time, or or even the level of masculine I was in at the time, which was not as much as as it could have been. I had to shift, and I had to create so much more spaciousness in my life, and that was inspiring and also terrifying, because I had never done it. I had never run a business in another way.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:00:26

Welcome to the ReLaunch podcast, and today is going to be an incredible day, because you're going to get to meet someone who has, against all odds, created something so incredibly, almost like you are going to be able to set the path in motion, as you hear from her, because that's what she does. Her name is Amira Alvarez. She is the founder and CEO of the unstoppable woman. Amira is truly a powerhouse in the world of personal development and business coaching. She's known for actually helping high achieving women reach new heights. So you're already knowing why I love these types of conversations. She's developed a really unique methodology that blends ambition with personal well being, and that is when you know you have it all. So Amira, welcome to the relaunch podcast. It is so great to have you.

Amira Alvarez: 00:01:37

Thank you so much for having me. Hillary, that was a great intro. I really appreciate that you summed it up, really, really, really well. Well, it's

Hilary DeCesare: 00:01:45

easy to do because I've had the pleasure of getting to know you, and you are really unstoppable. And what I want to be able to share with the listeners is your relaunch journey, right? There's always those twists and turns and we, we don't just have one, we have so many, but there is one that really was significant for you, and it led you to the path that you're on and where you are today. And that's the one I'd love for you to share with everyone listening.

Amira Alvarez: 00:02:16

I'd be happy to I'd I'd love to share that, and I'd also love to share you know what it used to mean to me to be an unstoppable woman and what it does now, after this relaunch, this reconfiguration, this remodeling, revisioning of my work in this world, what

Hilary DeCesare: 00:02:37

ways that I gotta tell you I love that, because we do define things differently. I define relaunch differently than I used to. So let's, let's start there. That's awesome,

Amira Alvarez: 00:02:47

yeah. So, so the initial download for the the concept of the unstoppable woman, and really, it was a download. It came to me one day. I'm like, Okay, we're trademarking this. Let's go right? And was, you know, no belief, no internal mindset, no external challenge is going to stop me, stop you from achieving what you desire. Really like going after your goals. And it had as as much as I talked about creating ease and all these things, it had a hard driving edge to it, because, at least for me, in my beginning years in business, I really had to learn how to do the thing, even when I didn't feel like doing the thing, like when I was growing my business, I could very easily get mired into like, well, that doesn't feel right. My intuition is not saying this. I can't do it, and then I wouldn't make any sales Right. Like i i If I didn't challenge myself, right? If I challenge myself to move beyond the beliefs that were driving the inaction around sales, around marketing, whatever the visibility, we all have visibility Gremlins, right? We want to be maybe we don't want to be perfect. I don't want to be perfect anymore, but I used to want to be perfect, right? You know, like, like, there was all sorts of stuff that would would stop me. And so that brand was really that, okay, like, like, you got to do the thing, even when you have these, this identity, this belief that you can't and I really

Hilary DeCesare: 00:04:24

power you were powering through it. Power through it very, you know, flexing your masculine muscle. Just get it done absolutely.

Amira Alvarez: 00:04:33

You know, lots of belief work, lots of inner game work as well. But ultimately, push comes to shove. You have to, you have to do the thing. And you know, we've learned in in our society that to have a successful business, there's a certain amount of pushing the boulder up the hill until you get the momentum going. That has to happen. And what happened for me was I just stayed in that grind. It too long. I loved it. I mean, I think, I think this is the the hook for a lot of really ambitious women is that they love their drive. I love my drive. I love my work ethic. I love my go hard. There's something really sexy about it, like saying you did the thing right. And like, being mas macho than anyone else, right? Like we're, we're one of the few who can, can really do it and and that was very satisfying. But then there came a point, and this is where the relaunch comes in. There came a point where that was just no longer satisfying. And let me speak to that. Can

Hilary DeCesare: 00:05:43

we just say it's exhausting?

Amira Alvarez: 00:05:46

That's exactly what I wanted to say. And,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:05:48

and as you're saying, you know, and it was funny, you're saying, you know, pushing that boulder up the up the mountain, you know, there's a point where you see someone pushing something up. It does not get easier. When you're pushing something up, it doesn't the only thing that's going to make it easier is when all of a sudden that boulder rips away from you and it starts to go backwards, and you feel like, Wait, I've just taken so many steps back. And I know that we all can like, Ah, it's just exhausting.

Amira Alvarez: 00:06:20

It's totally exhausting. And here's the thing that I've learned, is that women are born with a certain amount of testosterone, and it's less than men, but we go harder than men, like in most cases. I know that's kind of shocking. I never realized that, but until much later in my career. But we we work longer hours. We don't rest. Like my man. He works hard, but when he's tired, he goes, takes a nap. I would not take a nap. I would power through. I would I, I would just go, go, go, go, go. He rejuvenates. So women, can

Hilary DeCesare: 00:06:54

I just say something really funny? You're gonna die. So my next interview is John Gray,

Amira Alvarez: 00:07:00

the guy, great. I love it.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:07:03

I love it. The whole concept around, you know, men need their cave. Where are women's caves? When do we get to go into our cave?

Amira Alvarez: 00:07:13

I think it's, I think we have to really I think we rejuvenate in different ways. Personally, I don't think we well, I'll answer that in a number of ways. One, I create a K for myself. I have solid amounts of hours in the morning to myself. I get up super now,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:07:29

you do, but you're used to not.

Amira Alvarez: 00:07:32

You know, it's more and more now, but I I've always did that was the only thing that probably got me through. But I still used up all my testosterone. So let me go back to that point. I would go hard, and you use up all your testosterone, and then you start using your adrenals to that's your backup testosterone. And then when that's gone, you don't have the energy, and you're looking at your business, and you're looking at least I was and I I was saying, I keep, you know, hitting a wall every, every day. Sometimes it was at two in the afternoon, and I could kind of justify it and say, I'm a little tired and I'll take the afternoon off. And sometimes it was at 10 in the morning, and I was like, this is unsustainable. I cannot use the same MO That I did previously to run my business. I just physically don't have it in me. But I didn't know that that the hormone side of things until much later. So,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:08:29

I mean, I had long. How long ago was this?

Amira Alvarez: 00:08:34

You know, I think it was sporadic for four or five years that I would be hitting this, this energy block, but I have a lot of will, and I have a lot of determination, pretty effing stubborn, like many women, I wasn't getting the message. Eventually, I went on a spiritual journey, which is what I now teach women how to, how to do, how to create an exquisite life that integrates your your ambition and and your all the things that you want, and without having to do that kind of grind, and it had to work out a lot of things, and it was over many years, but ultimately, I went On this, this journey, and I learned how to create the time and space for myself and and it, and it started with it was after I had put on an event, a small, intimate event for a number of women and and I went to my friend's house in the hills of Sedona. And I she has the beautiful house overlooking the red rocks. It was gorgeous and, and she's my, my best girlfriend, who's also a founder, also in business, also, you know, committed to her success. And she asked me, Well, what, how would you reimagine your business if you could, you know, do that. And of course, we've asked so many, I've asked other women this question. So. Many times, but there's something about when someone you really care about asks you something potent, and you're open, you feel safe to answer that. And what I said shocked me, and it was radically different than what I was doing. I was building. I was part of this entrepreneurial, entrepreneurial group with a bunch of, like, really kick ass men who I loved, and I loved their energy and their vitality and their go hard, and how they were building things, and they were building businesses at scale, right? And so I was like, Okay, we're gonna get to 10 million doing this, right? And I was creating this business, and I was like, oh my god, I hate this. This is not, I mean, I didn't hate it. Hate it. Like, there are aspects of it. I love the women, I love the challenge, all of that sort of stuff. And this is, this is really important piece. I want to underscore this for you, for your listeners, is that, I think for really ambitious women, like, we don't have a I don't like it, like, I own this personal responsibility. Like, like, this is I love this work. Like, of course, I love it. And so it was, it's, it's not like you're waking up every day saying, I chose something I hate, no, like you chose something you loved. But then you realize, oh, this is not the right fit for me at all, because, quite frankly, you

Hilary DeCesare: 00:11:22

know what this reminds me of? There's a book the E Myth revisited, and it talks about a baker, the baker who starts their business, and then they do a lot of baking. It gets really successful to the point where now we're scaling. They bring in other people to start baking, and the Baker no longer is baking. They're running a business, and it's very, very, very different. And so you stop doing what you love. You stop doing like, Why did I start this in the first place? You don't have that motivation, right, that you had in the very beginning, the excitement, the butterflies, and so did you find that? You know, because it does, you get, you get worn out entrepreneurship, we talked about it. It's not, it's not for the faint of heart, absolutely.

Amira Alvarez: 00:12:09

So I think that distinction for me is I've always been the the baker and the business person, right? I've always been the trusted advisor, that the mentor, the coach for women, and the owner, founder, operator of the business. You know, I've got team, but I run a team. I was that, then I am that. Now. The difference is I love working with super smart, really intelligent run circles around everyone else, ambitious women who don't want to be talked down to, want to be spoken to at their level. And I like doing that in an intimate form, meaning one on one or very small group. We do an exquisite life plan event that is a very small, seven to 10 person group. And, and it's phenomenal, right? We have a mastermind called the exquisite. It's called it's It's exquisite, it's small, it's intimate, right? And, and I didn't want to build an 80 person, 100 person thing that's first that works for for for a lot of people, and and

Hilary DeCesare: 00:13:28

you're sitting with your, you know, one of your best friends, overlooking the beautiful Sonoma Valley, and you've just come off of an event, she asked you the question. And at that point, you're like, wait a second, what did I just say? What did I just answer? Yeah, just remind me. What were you building? At that time, and I

Amira Alvarez: 00:13:51

was, I was building an 80 to 100 person mastermind group program, I realized I don't feel satisfied. And this is an important piece for women, we want to feel satisfied. I wouldn't. I did not feel I the women in the program were getting great results. The women in the program were doing great I didn't feel satisfied without that connection, and that was me. It's not someone else. I'm not saying that this is the right way. Right? Everyone has a unique,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:14:28

important. The importance of what you're saying, though, is there has to be that connection for me, yeah, well, I think for you know, when, if people are struggling, if people are feeling stuck, if people aren't getting to where they ultimately want to be. Usually it's, there's a disconnect there, right? You're not so as you're saying, hey, it wasn't for you, yeah, and if that's not happening, so you're opening up to your friend, and you're like, Okay, and so what did what'd she say to you at that point? Yeah, well, she

Amira Alvarez: 00:15:00

was very she was very supportive. But the changes happened over the next months and couple of years where I had to look at not only the business model, like, Okay, well, how do you shift this? But I put in 1015, years of IP, you know, we have so much created, like, like, there's an emotional shift that has to happen, but the thing that that really was the thing that pushed me to make the change, and this is either going to be very inspiring for people or it's going to alienate people. Okay, so I recognized that I had a core wound of being unlovable, if you're interested in knowing what core wounds are and how to move through them. On our website, the unstoppable woman.com we have it all written out. But I I recognized I had this core wound of being unlovable, and what I wanted was it wasn't that I hadn't been married, it wasn't that I hadn't been in relationships, it was that full feeling of total love and support. And so I went about creating that concurrent to this other relaunch, relaunch my emotional life, my personal life. Relaunched, the business life, sure, and I met a man who was exactly everything that I desired, and I realized that I couldn't run my business and be in the relationship that I desired to be in the same way, right? Like those were two separate things, like, if I wanted to be fully present, fully open, fully emotionally available, really? Being creating a relationship at a much higher consciousness than just dialing it in logistics, and let's go out to dinner and at state night, like if I wanted an exquisite relationship, exquisite love, exquisite sex, all of that I couldn't be in my masculine all the time or or even the level of masculine I was in at at the time, which was not as much as as it could have been. I had to shift, and I had to create so much more spaciousness in my life. And that was inspiring and also terrifying, because I had never done it. I had never run a business in another way so alienating. Maybe people think, why should you change your business? Change your life for a man, right? But it was something I didn't want it badly enough,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:17:54

you know? I didn't. I didn't take it that way. I took what you're trying to do when you said your core wound was unlovable, and that what you're really in such desperation of finding in this lifetime, because life is so short, is this deep connection of love. And so I found it to be a very beautiful thing that you're and I truly believe this, that your business is a direct reflection of you, and if you're feeling like you're always in your masculine and I can relate to this, because when I was single and I was just starting to date my husband, Eric, I was right before I met him, going through like a terrible situation. I talk about in my book about one of my board members doing a Ponzi scheme, and he ended up going to federal prison, but he took down the company, and I was, I was in a very vulnerable, open place when I met Eric, he probably wouldn't have liked me when I was badass, you know, shout out bitch coming in from the board meetings and it wouldn't have it wouldn't have meshed. He's a very powerful man, but the powerful, driven testosterone level that wouldn't have been now, it's a nice balance, right? But at that point, he saw my vulnerable side. So I love that you thought to yourself, in order to do this exquisite, as you said, exquisite.

Amira Alvarez: 00:19:23

And what I look for when I'm working with women is that thing, because it's not the core wound of unlovability for everyone. But what is the thing that's gonna unlock everything else, right? Is the domino that starts the domino effect, because that's what unlocked it for me. And then it was a desire, a goal worth changing. All these other things that up until then, I had a conscious awareness that I wanted to change. Oh, my vitality is low. My energy is low. I'm bonking. I don't have the. The wherewithal, or I don't want to keep driving at this level, but I don't know any other way of building a business, right? I put

Hilary DeCesare: 00:20:07

it, how did you how did you map? Because you even said this, a lot of people don't know what that, that core wound is, or what that what's really holding them back. They don't. And for a while you didn't know. How did you figure out that that was actually what you needed to work on?

Amira Alvarez: 00:20:28

Yeah. Okay, so again, remember when I said I was really stubborn and it takes me a long time. Okay? That so I've known for a long time that my core wound is being unlovable. Okay? I didn't want to deal with it, though. For the longest time, finally I was willing that it was no longer tolerable for me not to deal with it. Okay? And here's the truth for many women, they they know, but they've suppressed it, okay,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:21:00

what you're saying is, if they really look hard as a woman, you can get to it because, you know, whatever is missing, there's a there. I believe that, because I can say, as I was looking when I when you said that I'm like mine. Mine wouldn't be unlovable, but mine would be that feeling of belonging, yeah, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. You know, where do I go? So I get that, I but I we

Amira Alvarez: 00:21:26

all, I think we all know Hillary. But here's the thing, if you, if you're listening and you're like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, ask yourself this question, what is the thing that has always come up again and again and again. For you, it's a pattern, okay, we, you know, I can't oftentimes, for for people, it's, I can't trust anyone, okay? And then they have Superwoman status, right? They don't let anyone support them, okay? These are, like, I outlined, the seven shadows of success. We talked about that, I think, a little bit, right? Yeah, and that's one of them, right? It's like, okay, well, that might be a core wound of trust. Okay, so, so what are the, what are the challenges you keep coming across a lot of people, you know, a trust example would be, they've they they've been embezzled from, and this person broke this partnership, and this person did this thing, right? And, and you keep having a pattern in your life, and you think that because you're in the forest for the trees, right? You're, you're inside of that, you think that's just how life is, but it's not okay. So I just thought, you know, you don't really have deep relationships with men. It's fine to be greatly partnered and have a nice, friendly relationship, but not have great sex, right? Like, I just was, like, that's just what everyone's doing, right? When you have back pain, you think everyone's everyone's got back pain. Like, it's just this weird thing that we assume,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:23:08

and stories that back up stories, and we just see the

Amira Alvarez: 00:23:13

world through our own eyes. We all do this. There's this is human. But I'm telling you, whatever your pattern of the world's against me in this way, or this is not working for me in this way. It's not the case the world is not that way. It's just a reflection of the core wound that you have. And sometimes that takes some conversation. I love having those conversations with people, so if they're interested in that conversation, please, you know, look at that. And

Hilary DeCesare: 00:23:44

I think it's interesting, because where you talk about the core wounds, I talk about limiting beliefs, I call them bugs, beliefs, underground, surfacing, and they're so woven together. And the conversation that you're willing to have with people. It's a conversation, and we can't see our blind spots. There's a reason, right? And so you being a professional and seeing what others can't. You can get to it very quickly, of and why, and I think that that's, that's what makes you so good at what you're doing. When you think about this opening up and deciding, I'm going to do this different type of business, it immediately flourished like it just took off because it was so in alignment with you. Where are you today with it? What? What is, what's coming up for you and the future around it.

Amira Alvarez: 00:24:42

Yeah, so, so I will say that it was a long time of really, like giving myself the space to to articulate the new business, and when the idea of the exquisite life came forward, I was like, Okay, that's it. We're. Building it around this and and then that's been super fun to to really flesh that out and be speaking about it and get clearer and clearer, and really build a business around this idea that an exquisite life is not this either or thing, right? It's not either I get to have this ambition in my business, or I get to have great health, or I get to have a great relationship, or I get to feel beautiful, like it's all of that in and we think that if we work really hard in our businesses, as a result, we'll get the other things. But that's just not true. Okay, it doesn't yet. You have to create them. So now the business is doing, doing amazing, and we've really built a whole set of offerings that are for the the ambitious leader and corporate executive person who's really willing to invest in herself. You know, she she's at the stage where she's like, okay, my career is to a certain place and now me right and or my career is to a certain place and I'm getting burnt out, or it's no longer enough to climb the corporate ladder. I'm afraid that I'm gonna lose my gravy train. Right? My income right now, now. How do I do how do I do that sustainably? Or for the the CEO, founder, person of their own business and, and what's beautiful is that the the shift is, you know, women are really resonating with this idea of, okay. Can look at my life wholly. I don't have to look just for a business coach and or just for someone to help me with these other aspects of my life, but let's look at it as a whole, because I don't want to give up one for the other, like, that's just so well said, Yeah,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:26:55

we shouldn't have one.

Amira Alvarez: 00:26:56

We shouldn't have to. So

Hilary DeCesare: 00:26:58

let me, let me ask you this question. You think about Brene Brown, she's known for vulnerability. You think about Gabby Bernstein, the universe has your back. You think about Amy Porterfield and course creation, you know B School. Marie Forleo, what do you want to be known for?

Amira Alvarez: 00:27:21

The exquisite life,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:27:22

having that exquisite life? Yeah,

Amira Alvarez: 00:27:25

absolutely, 100% Yeah. And

Hilary DeCesare: 00:27:27

I gotta tell you, we all deserve it, and we can all make choices to get there, right? Yeah. So when somebody comes and starts to work with you in the initial stages. I know you have lots of different programs, but for those that haven't started their journey yet to go towards an exquisite like, they're still trying to just get through the life they've got right now, and they're like, it's not that exquisite to me right now. What do you suggest they do? What are some tips that they can really like? Okay, I can do that. I can start working on that today.

Amira Alvarez: 00:28:03

Oh, I love that question. So I think that the level of honesty with which you approach this is what's going to create the amount of growth that you have. Okay? Because if you lie to yourself about everything being fine, fine, fine. Or I don't need help. Or, you know, I can, I can do it on my own, or whatever it is, there's, there's all sorts of stories, like, it's okay because of this, or this is my initiative right now. Or, you know, I need to focus on this. First all, I say these things because I've heard them and quite frankly, I've said them to myself, right? Many, many times, yeah, that just gets in your way. So I would one pay attention to the stories that keep you from having a level of truth with what's going on with yourself. I would look at where you get busy, you know where you start getting like, where do you when? What I see happen a lot is you're very ambitious. You set a goal, you start achieving it. Maybe you've hired new team that you've got them trained, your sales teams going well, your CEOs going, what? Doing their thing, you have all this extra time and space, okay? And you start getting antsy there, because you don't know how to be in that space without creating more chaos, more work, another initiative. Now this is a shadow of success. The positive side is you're creating, you know, a seven figure, eight figure, nine figure, business, 10 figures, even right, maybe even more right, like this. This shadow drives you, so you're like, I don't want to give that up, because that's what that that's what's creating this amazing success. I would look right in that. That spot, okay, where you're you're about to fill the void and and ask yourself, What am I running away from?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:30:12

What a great question to ask. What do you find most people, what? What do you what are you hearing a lot about what people are running away from, you

Amira Alvarez: 00:30:24

know, oftentimes it's, you know, this again, levels of of honesty with yourself, you know, there's, there's more surface level, which is, you know, I don't like to be bored, or I always like to be busy, or, you know, they might even say it's a bad marriage, and they like to keep busy, all of, all of that stuff. Right underneath the surface, though, there, this is where the core wounds come into to play, right? I'm, I'm, if I'm not successful, if I'm not busy, that's that's how I've gotten my sense of self and my accolades, my status, my importance, if I don't do that, who am I? Okay,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:31:12

that's very true for a lot of people, yeah, you know, busy being busy, but they feel very comfortable in that zone,

Amira Alvarez: 00:31:19

yeah. Yeah. And yet they want something else. If they're honest, they want something else, and they're doing this work to fill fill that void. And then they know that there's a level, you know, we're smart women, okay, there's a level of awareness around that. But then we think, if I give that up, am I going to give up my success? And that's where we just go and start building again. And we don't actually solve that root cause issue. That when you solve that root cause issue, you can do both. You can have that solved. It's no longer this thing that's eating you from the inside, if you will, that you keep pushing away, right and okay, I'll deal with that later, or I never want to deal with that. You actually solve that so you feel fulfilled and you're able to be ambitious and successful and grow your business, it's not, I just want to emphasize again and again and again, it's not either or does it have to change? Does your MO have to change? Absolutely, but it's not, I will

Hilary DeCesare: 00:32:32

tell you, 10 years ago, I went from really coaching in a very head based way, facts, figures, of steps, statistics, and moved into more of ancient wisdom, universal laws, intuition, I call it three, HQ, head, heart, highest self. And you know, when I did that, I went from liking what I'm doing, seeing the success to loving, loving, yeah, because I was willing to not just be the girl from Silicon Valley that has a business coaching, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, it was much more heartfelt at that point. And so as as we're wrapping up here. What's the main point that you want to get across to people? And then I'd love for you to share how they can find you Sure.

Amira Alvarez: 00:33:32

So I think the main point is really that you don't have to give up your ambition to live exquisitely like we we've been told it's an either or. Thing you can have. You can have both. You can have it all. Now it's not a pat like you can have it all, like a freaking marketing campaign, AD, commercial, okay, it's not that, it's that you have to lean into the discomfort that facing some of these challenges is going to bring up for you. And this is where it's true that you have to stay unstoppable, right? You still have to lean in, right? You still have to face those, those limiting beliefs, those challenges, those those things, you have to have a lived experience of doing it differently. It nothing changes until you live differently, but that it's totally possible and that it's unique for each individual. There's, there's a methodology that I teach, that I work, but it's, it's applied to your unique life, right? And, and, and you you have the capability to make this happen. And you know, I'd love, if this is resonating with you, I'd love to show you how to do that, right, like walk you through that, and you can find out more on our website, which is the unstoppable. Woman.com if you want to have a conversation with me, I love unpacking core wounds. So book a book a call, and we'll do that in your your your little our first call together. And if you want to just know more about this, there's a an a download on the website for core wounds. We have some teachings on that. And then our podcast, the unstoppable woman podcast, which you will be on shortly, which is great, is a great place. You know, aside from our amazing guests, it's, I do a lot of teaching content on that podcast, and I think that's a great resource as well.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:35:41

Amira, thank you for being here. Thank you for opening up and sharing some of the things that I think people are genuinely really interested in. What is holding us back? How can you end up having this exquisite life being unstoppable, but in such a a a way that it doesn't deplete you. Because, you know, unstoppable kind of is like, Oh, you're on that hamster. But no, it's unstoppable because that's the radiant energy that you're putting forth, and that you can tell that's what you're putting forth right now. So again, thank you so much for being here and for everyone listening, just remember you're hearing it over and over, live now, love now, relaunch now into that remarkable place that you then can leave your mark on life and in your Business and on this world, this planet, which, as we've you know, as we continue to hear, is not as big as we think it is. And so go back to the show notes, get more of this incredible information that you've heard today, and use it. Don't just think about it, but get involved in it. If it resonated, come back. Tell us. This is awesome. This is amazing, and that you're going to activate and move forward in your relaunch. We'll see you next week. Everyone bye, bye.