Let’s be honest. Life is unpredictable, and much of it happens beyond your control. This can feel discouraging. But there are some things you can do make the journey more enjoyable.
Life coach and author Andrea Owen has an incredible story of taking back control of her life. Her journey is the reason she now helps empower women all over the world to do the same.
She has 4 steps that will move you from discouraged to back in charge of the road ahead:
- Get to know yourself
As a woman you probably have a tendency to see yourself through the eyes of others. Whether it’s your family, your coworkers, your friends, or all of the above, you spend most of your time trying to live up to their expectations. And when you do, you tie your self-esteem to their opinion instead of your own.
The first step in taking control of your journey is to explore who you really are.
Find out if you even like yourself – and don’t be surprised if you don’t. This realization will motivate you to explore who you are and, more importantly, who you want to be.
- Stop blaming others
Does this sound familiar? ‘If the people in my life would behave better, I’d be happier.’ If this is something you find yourself saying, it’s time to reevaluate your perspective.
Blaming others for where you are in life is just an excuse for not making a change.
However, there’s a fine line between owning your part in something and placing too much blame on yourself. To strike a balance, ask yourself this question: Do I like how I’m showing up in the world? If your own behavior is impacting the outcome you desire, work on that before placing blame.
- Be intentional in your relationships
Once you feel more confident in who you are and stop blaming others for where you are, it’s time to explore who it is you spend your time with. Do your girlfriends spend too much time bashing the ex you just want to leave in the past? Does your coworker criticize your contributions when they’re feeling less than?
Take the time to get intentional about who you’re doing life with.
This will mean leaning in to some relationships and setting boundaries with others. In the process, don’t spend too much time regretting the past. Sometimes the people that hurt us the most turn out to be our greatest teachers, propelling us forward. Just don’t feel like you need to keep them around.
- Own your role
Lastly, look at the trajectory of your life and your role in it. Take responsibility for what you need to. Maybe you’ve been passed up for a promotion for the 2nd time. Can you honestly say you did what you could to earn it? If your marriage is on the rocks, what’s your part in it? Or maybe it’s a positive – you launched a successful business or celebrated a relationship milestone. What do you feel you did right?
Be willing to own your role in both your setbacks and your successes.
When you look at both, you can identity patterns in your behavior, both good and bad. Also explore how you feel about your role. Emotions give you valuable information about what works and doesn’t work in your life.
You have the power to make lasting changes and take control of your journey. When you do, you’ll enjoy it, too.