If only I had that job. If I could just lose 10 pounds. If they’d just commit already.
How often do you place stipulations on your happiness? Chances are it’s more often that you’d like to admit. But what if you could love who you are and the life you have right now?
Transformational coach Keri Ford helps powerful women find whole-body wellness. In the process, her clients learn to love themselves even as they work towards healing and wholeness.
What’s her secret? Here’s 5 to help you love who you are right now:
- Listen to yourself
Listen to the words you tell yourself. Are they constructive or do they bring you down? Are they encouraging or are they limiting? Negative self-talk can make it difficult to love who you are. Make sure you speak to yourself in the way you want to feel about yourself.
Listen to your body. Do you feel good? Do you feel strong? If not, why not? If your body is asking for rest, make time for it. If your body is ready for a challenge, listen to that, too. Your physical symptoms can be a powerful indicator of what you need.
Listen to the voices around you. Are the people in your life building you up? Do they speak words of affirmation? If not, consider how you can change that. This may mean some tough discussions with loved ones or the opportunity to add to your circle.
- Hold onto your power
Keri helps women of all shapes and sizes love the body they’re in as they work to improve it. She reminds her clients that meeting a goal alone – be it dress size or fitness level – won’t lead to happiness.
If you’re focused on achievement to make you happy, you’re giving away your power.
Here’s a relevant example: when you go to a party, who are you dressing up for? Chances are, it’s not for you, and most likely, it’s for the other women in attendance. Why do we give others the power over our happiness?
It’s time to break the cycle. Stop comparing yourself to others. Then, make an effort to support others with kind words and positive actions. When you do, you’ll hold onto your power.
- Question everything
When you start to move away from a place of self-love it’s time to ask why:
- Why do I feel this way?
- Who am I trying to impress?
- What do I need right now?
By asking questions, you’ll be more in tune with what you need, be it something in-the-moment or a signal that it’s time for longer-lasting change. Either way, you’ll have the confidence to make it happen.
- Feel your feelings
Have you ever seen someone that just has a glow about them? It’s probably more than their moisturizer. The secret to radiating positivity is to feel it on the inside.
You can be more of yourself than you’ve ever been if you let yourself feel.
This starts when you let go of who you think you are. There will be a sense of loss when you do. After all, there is grief in growth. But when you feel your feelings – both good and bad – you can move through them. The result of this step is liberation and clarity.
- Find your balance
What do you do to cope with life? Maybe it’s going full steam until you burn out and wind up locked inside binging on Netflix and ice cream. Or maybe you can’t relax without a drink or two.
It’s hard to find a sense of peace if you stay on the swinging pendulum between reaction and avoidance.
Find your balance before you’re too far off course. This starts with learning to pause. Check in with yourself regularly to ensure you’re doing okay. If you’re not, make a conscious effort to pivot. You’ll be glad you did.
With these secrets, you can find joy in who you are now and move towards bettering yourself, too – all from a place where you love who you are!