Are you stuck on repeat? Do the setbacks in your life seem to follow the same pattern? Chances are, there’s a common denominator.
Valerie Shepherd is The Relaunch Co’s CMO, or as I like to call her, our Chief Magic Maker. She is also co-author of The Ex-Wives Guide to Divorce, a book she wrote with her FIRST ex-husband’s SECOND ex-wife. Talk about a ReLaunch!
But before that, Valerie had to discover her own COMMON DENOMINATOR. After more than one divorce, her new role as a single mom, and even a major health crisis, Valerie decided the only way to move forward was to examine the PATTERNS in her life.
THE COMMON DENOMINATOR
While exploring her setbacks, Valerie discovered that she was actually her own common denominator. Her CHOICES over the years, her own ACTIONS, and even how she treated herself contributed to the challenges in her life. Sometimes this was simply how she reacted to a situation beyond her control.
Once she made this discovery, she was able to begin to take small steps toward a mindset of RESILIENCY. When you find your common denominator to repeated setbacks, you can move toward a stronger and more resilient place in your life.
WHAT’S YOUR CONTRIBUTION?
What I love about Valerie’s perspective is that she focuses her ongoing growth on how she CONTIRIBUTES to her setbacks. But this didn’t come naturally to her. Even with a successful career, Valerie had to learn and develop personal CONFIDENCE in herself first.
To do so, she did internal work through external help. She found a therapist who helped her look within herself and explore her CONTRIBUTIONS to various setbacks in her life. From there, she learned to RELEASE the past and take RESPONSIBILITY for her own choices and actions.
Take time to explore your own CONTRIBUTIONS to the challenging times in your life. I promise once you do, they’ll no longer hold you back.
LET GO OF THE YUCK
When things looked their worst, Valerie decided to treat her divorce like what she ate for breakfast or the temperature outside – nothing more than a simple fact. This gave her the ability to begin to REIMAGINE her life.
Before she did this, Valerie spent a lot of time with what she calls her YUCK METER. When you hold on to the past without releasing it, it doesn’t feel good. But once you ACKNOWLEDGE your role in something, it no longer DEFINES you.
You can let go of the YUCK, break the pattern, and MOVE ON.
FIND YOUR VALUES
One of the KEYS to the RELAUNCH experience is the values exercise.
Valerie took hold of her top three – living a life with FAITH, being the best MOM she could be, and filling her days with CREATIVITY. Tethering to these values, she took RESPONSIBILITY for her personal role in her choices in every area of her life.
Today, when she doesn’t hold to them, she finds herself OUT OF SYNC, and starts CONTRIBUTING to her old patterns. This reminds her to RESET and shift back to operating within her values so that she can show up as her BEST SELF not just for her clients, family, or others… but for herself.
When you find your TOP VALUES, you can RELAUNCH around them.
EXPECT BIG THINGS
The fact that Valerie wrote a book with her FIRST ex-husband’s SECOND ex-wife may sound strange. But when the two first connected, Valerie knew they shared the same feelings. Suddenly, Valerie knew there was a need from women with a similar story. Writing the book together gave them both a chance to help other women find RESILIENCY and STRENGTH, too in moving forward with a purpose and goal of creating a better future.
Out of the experience, Valerie found that through her own SETBACKS – big and small – she could help others with their SETBACKS.
When you break old patterns and find your own strength, EXPECT BIG THINGS!
Valerie believes that her SETBACKS have made her who she is – RESILIENT and STRONG. It’s time to discover your own PATTERNS, identify the COMMON DENOMINATOR, and REDEFINE your future.